


Happy

by SaraPhoenix14



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mirage doesn't know what he wants, Tags Are Hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-25 19:03:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20376577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaraPhoenix14/pseuds/SaraPhoenix14
Summary: You and Elliott had been "a thing". Turns out, none of you ever asked the other if it all meant something. And ever since it started bothering you, Elliott felt as though he's been losing you with each day that passed, until the day you stop answering his calls, don't respond to his messages and slowly and completely disappear out of his life.





	Happy

Telling the truth can be the hardest thing to do sometimes. It can break the trust between people, it can twist their emotions into ones of a monster. But it's a sign of care, of love, of pain.

Elliott didn't realize that when it happened. He only saw the part that would hurt him the most. He didn't know how much it hurt you, he only thought of himself.

In the end, it all caught up to him. It is not as though the feelings will deplete over such a short time. The spark that once ignited feelings of affection was still hidden inside of him. He would lose the entirety of his mind if it disappeared. Was it addiction to what he once had that made him wish things were different? That instead of imagining what could've been, he would have the guts to say what has been bugging him ever since the end of the two of you?

He frequently said things out of the blue, blurting out words without a second thought. Sometimes they made no sense, but why was it that when something so important was on the line, he was so afraid? It wasn't in his nature to feel fear. Out of character, some would say. But that is in fact how he felt when he seldom saw you here and there when traversing the city.

And you noticed him too, but you had nothing to say. You stood your ground and you knew you had done what was right, even if it meant your relationship with the Legend had to end. You cut all ties to him soon after, giving him the silent treatment, even if you felt bad for a while. "I'm doing what's best for me," you thought to yourself oftentimes, reminding yourself why you acted so.. childishly.

Ironically, you were giving him exactly what he has been giving you for the past year or so. His childish nature was annoying at times but you stick through because of him. However, it resulted in you never labeling yourselves as a pair, which made everything else.. complicated. You got angry because of how he flirted with anyone and everyone, he got jealous when you'd meet with other people, but both of you were still technically single so you had no say in each other's lives. Despite that, you had been together almost everyday, save for when you went to work or he had to "fight for money".

You'd call each other friends but you both knew you were beyond that. You tried to turn this into something more meaningful time and time again but it never happened. Eventually you gave up and it only went downhill from there. The worst part was, he never even knew what he wanted from you.

And that's where the state of your relationship lead you both. Would you call it a waste of time? Honestly speaking, you weren't sure. You had conflicted feelings about all of this, but you managed to convince yourself it was the best course of action. You did expect for things to end so harshly, after all.

What both of you didn't expect was a meeting out of the blue, arranged by fate, one chilly weekend night.

* * *

Taking the glass in his hands, Elliott finished the remnants of the alcohol he had ordered that night. He paid no attention to his surroundings, too busy wallowing in his self-deprecating thoughts. He was lucky enough that no one recognized him yet, he didn't need to "taint" his reputation as a Legend. And besides, who would expect to see Mirage spend his free time in a rundown bar like this? Not even his own ma.

"Need a refill?" the bartender offered, Elliott tried dismissing the bartender with his shaky hand, but stopped midway and instead corrected himself, "Eh, who cares. Just give it to me." The man, Javier (written on his name tag), chuckled at the wreckage of a human being sitting across the bar. "You need to get your act together, man. Especially when you're on the big screen, everyone's watching."

"As if that's going to do any good..." Elliott mumbled, pulling at his locks from frustration. "Doing your job with a frown on your face isn't very affective, that's all I'm saying. You're supposed to entertain people, make their lives less miserable."

"Yeah? Well what if my life is miserable?!" Elliott lashed out, quickly apologizing to the man afterwards, "I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean to-"

"Don't worry about it. It happens to everyone." Javier smiled at the man, giving him a new glass of gin, "Here. You can talk to me about it if you want to, I don't really have anything else to do besides pestering my boss about a raise. And even if I tried that I doubt I'd be successful, she's really stubborn."

"Who knows, she might have a reason for it. I don't know, I'm not in the position to be judgemental," the legend let out, playing with a napkin out of both habit and nervousness, "Really, I'm not in the position to be anything besides what other people want me to be. I realized that, but it's too late now. I don't know how to fix the shit that I've unconsi- unconsciously created."

"Maybe it's not about fixing it. Maybe it's about learning how to live with it, try to learn from it. Not everything is about fixing and breaking. And you might not see it like that now in your state. Once you sober up, and I'm not talking about alcohol, you'll get a clearer view on what to do next."

Elliott was speechless, partly because of what the man in from of him said, but mainly because he was too tired and too drunk to talk. He sighed deeply, finishing his refill and standing up from the stool he previously occupied. He left the bar after paying for his drinks.

Sober up? What could he mean by that? Perhaps it was the feelings which drowned him every time he thought of you, the feelings that resonated deep within the entirety of his whole being as the memories of what once was flooded his mind. Was he in a constant drunken state because he could not escape the emotions created simply by the memory of you?

He hated that, hated himself for becoming so dependant on another person, when that was exactly what he's been avoiding for the longest time. That was why he never wanted to become so attached to you, but in his obliviousness he did the opposite.

And then, as he walked the streets in darkness, alone, he saw the light of the moon illuminate the path in front of him. He felt soft tugging of a dream never envisioned before. As though he was the last of his kind in the world, he saw an angel sent by the heavens to save him from his doom.

He saw... you.

And you saw him, too.

A man completely ruined by intoxication, sitting on the ground, shaking his head because he felt as though the whole world was against him. But to him? You were his whole world. You made him happy.

You considered leaving him there, his body lying on the ground in front of you. But the call of your name, the desperation in his voice, made you remember that you still loved him, despite the uncertainty you felt whenever you were around him. So you took him to your home, the last place he'd expect to wake up in. Confusion clouded his mind while a terrible headache forbid him to think.

He tried to look around himself, blinded by the city lights coming throughout the huge windows in your living room. He audibly groaned- his throat, figuratively, catching on fire. You watched him from the kitchen, weighing your options. Should you kick him out as soon as he came to his senses, possibly killing the existence of your relationship, or what was left of it, for good? Or should you try talking to him, despite knowing that the outcome of that would be you getting even more upset than before?

"Why am I such an idiot?" Your thoughts were interrupted by Elliott, who was now trying, and failing, to stand up from the couch he occupied. "Why do.. Why do I do this to myself?" He must've not noticed you, or perhaps he was still drunk to comprehend where he was. You moved to help him, but he slapped your hand away, commenting, "I don't need help from anyone... not even myself." You furrowed your eyebrows, he was acting differently than you remembered.

"Elliott?" You called out to him, but he couldn't remember whose voice it was. His head fell backwards, onto the edge of the couch. Maybe closing his eyes would stop him from spinning in circles, or so he thought. But it only made everything worse, he didn't want to be stuck in darkness. "I can't do this." He let out.

"What's wrong with you?!" You grabbed his head, making him look right at you. Both of you went silent, looking into each other's eyes. His looked tired, out of focus.

Then he suddenly said to you, "I think I'm gonna puke." You rolled your eyes, taking him to the bathroom as quickly as possible. He wasn't lying and you were glad you were fast enough to take him to a toilet.

Once he was feeling okay, for drunk Elliott standards, you took him back to the living room. He hasn't said a word to you, so you were wondering if he even knew you were taking care of him. "Elliott?" You tried once again.

"I'm sad... I'm scared."

"What?" You were taken aback, this was a whole new side of the man that you'd never seen. "Why are you sad?"

"Because you don't want me back. And I don't know what to do. Because I'm stupid and I don't know how relationships work," he mumbled, "and you were right, I was acting like a kid. Because that's all I'm good for and now I know presice- exactly why you don't want me back. You know what, even I wouldn't want myself back. But I'm a selfish asshole who needs you. So please, take me back?"

"I don't- Elliott..." You tried saying but you were so lost in what he just said, you needed to collect your thoughts, "It's not going to be that easy, you know that."

"Yeah.. but I want to try to work it out. And I want to stop making myself feel bad. I know it's wrong for me to say this to you but I can't help it."

You placed his hand on your cheek. His eyes widened, he seemed to be surprised, "I can't believe you got this drunk."

"I did?" He asked, confusion written on his face, "I did." You couldn't keep yourself from laughing. He seemed to be so lost, like a puppy. But then you remembered what you had told him, that he was too selfish to care about the future of your relationship. While he was spilling out his emotions, you secretly knew it should've been you. You were wrong about him, he wasn't childish, he wasn't careless... you just didn't notice his way of caring. "I'm sorry."

"What? You're not supposed to be sorry, this isn't how it's supposed to be." He repeated, but you cut him off, "About what I said earlier. That it makes me worry we're not a "thing", it was stupid. It shouldn't really matter. I thought about reaching out to you but I felt as though it would be pointless. And here you are, drunk off your ass, proving me wrong. It makes me wonder if we would've done something about it earlier and-"

"Okay, I have to stop you there. This is dumb. Can we just make out and then marry each other?"

"What?" You asked, both startled and surprised, "You just threw up in my toilet, no way am I making out with you right now. And marry? Isn't this happening all too fast?"

"Uh, I feel like if I don't do something I'll just lose you again, so..." He gave you a goofy smile, one that you hadn't had a chance to see in a long time. "You're an idiot." You laughed at him, smacking him in his face when he made kissy faces at you. "So what? It's nothing new to you." He laughed.

You gave him a smile, one full of honesty. Mesmerized by what was in front of him, he lost all belief he had ever lost you, it was as though nothing ever happened and you were each other's for as long as he could remember. And you kept smiling at him, because that's all you could do when you realized just how silly the both of you acted.

You couldn't change what happened but you could learn from it. And now, despite what transpired, both of you learned to be more open with one another. That's all that matters in the end.


End file.
